TWO DOGS IN THE FIGHT good dog bad dog part one

There is an old saying, “inside every man there are two dogs fighting for control, one the nasty mean and the other is man’s best friend”.  I don’t know if that’s true of everyone but for me that is most certainly a truth. 

When I first started this writing project it was to give my progeny a chance to see my trip through the years.  Not just the trip I want people to see or the one that I showed.  I wanted to help them recognize that the mistakes and failures that they might make do not make them unique in that respect.  I am sure that, as usual, the end result is not going to be the lofty ideal of shining a light on the bad dog but I will do my best.  Just remember as you are waging your own battles of inner thought and decision making between good and evil, “you are not crazy”.  The trick is to realize this inner conflict and that the dog you feed is the one that will dominate.

If we are lucky we are born into a family that promotes good dog tendencies. Most parents will do everything possible to teach us all the good dog tricks, traits that they allow others to see in their own lives.  The fact is that most of us will show only those things we want others to see or to think about us while hiding the darkest parts.  We learn at a young age to hide those things that are not acceptable to those we want love us. We also hide the truth from those who are capable of inflicting the pain needed to make us feed the good dog.  Unfortunately most of us require some same measure of outside influence to change our choice of feeding the bad dog.  Hopefully it will be a measure less than that which changed the writer, St. Paul who was struck blind by the Christ his bad dog persecuted.  

Like Paul, it was in my later walk as a Christian, I found myself still wanting in my quest to feed only the good dog.  Paul lamented (paraphrased), “why do I still do that which I hate”, I find myself asking the same question.  I can no longer say that all of us think, or feed our dogs the same amounts of food.

 

The process of choosing which dog survives is similar but the choice of which dog we feed is our own choice.

I will attempt to be as candid as possible about my inner struggles with these two dogs.  My omissions are due to lack of memory and to the fear of letting me being remembered for bite marks left by my bad dog. Suffice it to say that as much as I wish to emulate Christ in my life my bad dog is still there requiring me to choose between the good and evil sides of my being.  If it were not for this conflict Christians would greatly lack in humility.  It is in humility that one realizes that without the grace, the Blood of The Lamb, none of us would have the hope of eternal salvation.

As with Paul I was struck down from my life as I had come to know it.  Circumstance relieved me of my possessions, my business, and most hurtful of all, my family.  Driven to my knees I was open for Christ to come into my life and the opportunity of choice arrived in the form of a business associate.  This writing is not about the taming of my bad dog with the help of the Holy Spirit.  This subject is about the process of my choices and which dog was the Alpha.  

One would think that the infusion of Christ into a person would chase the bad dog out completely, but I have found that not to be the case.  A few weeks ago I was brought to a realization that my road to Christ likeness had passed very few of the crossroads that could prevent a human from being truly Christ-like.  The car that crossed in front, nearly clipping my car, brought forth a stream of profanity propelled by my anger.  As I continued my drive there was time to realize that what I had chosen to be the Alpha dog was not the one to unleash.  I have been going through a inkling of awareness of myself talk.  That awareness has made me appreciate the struggle that if exaggerated would be similar to that of schizophrenia.  I became aware of self-talk that was far from Christian ideals.  I found that I frequently but silently made inner remarks about people, circumstances, news through the eyes of my bad dog.  He is still in there waiting to be fed, waiting for a chance to be dominant in my life. I might add the word “again”.

Don’t allow your bad dog any chance of survival, be aware of your inner conversations, and don’t feed him. 

Wanting the good dog to be the dominant Alpha is not enough.  Prayer feeds the good dog. 

TO BE CONTINUED